08/08

Hmm well my birthday wasn't that long ago. It wasn't very good, but compared to others I bet it was really good. All I did all day was study, though I did go out at night for a meal with the family (plus one-- though I didn't invite this person he was my father's friend). The restaurant really wasn't worth my time which could've been well spent studying. The food was horrid and dry and when I looked under the table I realised we were eating on a mahjong table with a circular piece of wood on it. No wonder the room was so small, had no windows and everything smelt like cigarette smoke. Oh well, it was nice to spend it with my family (though my parents didn't talk to me throughout the whole dinner they were talking to their friend). But it was a good experience, now I know next year, I don't want to celebrate. Just a nice cake and a dinner at home is good enough for me. The cake was also horrible too, though I liked it because it was a mud cake. My sister and my parents said it wasn't fresh or something along those lines.


Anyways, today I spent most of my day studying (ie. doing tutoring homework). I realised I spend a large part of my life mulling over this horrible stuff, though I hope it helps me in the long run. It's fun if I know how to do it, but terrible when I don't, because I get scared to ask my sister (she gets angry I think). Every week I can't do a portion of my homework and it always bothers me. Sometimes when I have a lot of tutoring homework it takes me about 10 hours (no joke I counted like a prison inmate), but most of the time it's about 7 hours. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you span it out over about 2 - 3 days, it's alright.

I've also realised, life isn't really worth living until you grow old. Well I came to this conclusion a couple of years ago, but I've revisited it today while endeavoring upon the beast that is my maths homework. When we're children we go to school, when we're teens we go to high school (and hopefully complete HSC-- or whatever other countries call it), when we're adults we work for money and income and hopefully develop a family, as we grow older we take care of our children and keep working. Finally, when we're old we finally get the time to do nothing, or do whatever we want. But by then we're already rotting and decomposing, which really sucks. Well, I think I'm going to make the most of my life and make lots of money so I can buy material things and hopefully raise a nice small family and also help others (though I doubt it knowing myself-- I don't like to kid and lie to myself).

Hmm... which leads me to the idea of when people say: "I care for the rest of the world!" Most people kid themselves, and really don't. I try my best not to do that, which is why whenever my friends ask me "Will you save me if i was going to fall off a cliff?" I always answer "No". Yes it may be extremely blunt and mean, but I don't want them to expect me to help them if that scenario was to come true. It's what I always try and live my life by (notice I say 'try' because I don't like to kid myself that I always do it). Wow I've been saying 'kid' a lot lately.

Ahh well... my rant is finished... and that little bit at the end was weird. But whatever, I try to never delete things that come out (unless they're typos). If it comes out, then I post it. So it's always near truth-- unless I keep it inside of course.

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