23/11

Labels: , , - Monday, November 23, 2009

It's been so long since I actually posted a proper blog. I've missed blogging about miscellaneous things, though I have noticed that my vocabulary has taken a harsh hit, with my lack of reading and practice. Although it's awful that this has happened, I've come to many realisations during my time away. One in particular, which stands out is the fact that I'm going through a really bad bout of 'teenage angst'. It's affecting my life in sections such as family and friends, which is distressing, as I've become a much colder and meaner person. Or maybe I've become a hell of a lot more blunter... though I think assuming the worst is always good for me as I won't be disappointing myself if I'm wrong anyways.


I don't know if I'm really doing this properly, but recently I've been trying to think of everything through all perspectives. Though of course there will be bias, at least I'm trying. Which of course means I must but heads with my friends, concerning many aspects of life. Hence leading me to think that they judge me and see me through the eyes of lady distain, but it doesn't affect me as much as it would (or what I would've thought it would). This leads me to my other dilemma, which is the fact that my hormones are NOT driving me into the brink of insanity. Right now, I'm surrounded by hormonal teenagers who swoon over guys (and girls) though I myself feel nothing. Now I could say it's because I'm much more mature, but then I would be lying, and I try my best to keep these blogs as truthful as I'm comfortable with. At school, to hide my frustration I usually make the joke that I may be part plant i.e. Asexual, but in reality I'm just hoping that this is a phase through my teenage years. I'm really hoping this will pass soon. It's horrible feeling nothing, I see a 'hot' guy and I no longer react (the initial thought would be "he would make nice babies"-- totally normal...), and my previous celebrity crushes no longer apply. Unless it's a celebrity relation, in which I'm not involved at all but instead a third wheel or bystander.

Which then leads me to another point that has been bugging me to no end. The television program Glee. I really enjoy the series and I can barely stand to wait for the next episode, party because Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester) is probably the best television character I've ever had the privilege to watch, I just love her blunt forwardness. I've come to the conclusion that she's probably one of the coolest coaches ever, though it would probably be horrible to actually have her as my coach. Anyways, I also love Glee because of two people: Puck and Quinn. They're probably my favourite rooting couple right now, because Puck is just so adorable towards Quinn. Basically it reflects my own freakish fantasy about love (very unrealistic may I add)-- minus the baby part of course. I just love how Puck the horrible bullying jock, is willing to turn over his whole life to support Quinn and their baby, and the idea that Quinn is torn between her boyfriend Finn and his best friend Puck.

Overall, Glee has all the things I love, jealousy, good-looking people (very shallow I know), romance and wit.

19/11

- Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Long time no post...


Well it's officially the start of Year 11 in term 4, but we're not actually allowed to begin Year 11 work yet so we're doing something called Enlightenment. Waste of time if you ask me, but it does make me feel very independent, which is cool I guess.

Anyways, I really just wanted to update this cobwebbed blog.

P.S. I'm reading Dracula, and it's very good (y).

P.P.S. I like Glee -- especially Sue Sylvester. She owns.

20/8

Labels: , , , , - Thursday, August 20, 2009

I've been on work experience for the past week, and I only have one day left. Darn why is work experience only 1 week? It makes me so much more sadder because I'm going to miss it so much. Back to reality I guess, harsh, cold and unforgiving. My friend says I'm suffering from withdrawal-like symptoms regarding my nostalgia towards the prospect of leaving work experience, and frankly I agree wholeheartedly. After going to my local vet for my work experience, I can confidently say, this is probably one of the happiest times of my life. I don't even mind picking up the cat and dog poo/pee, or washing up because it's fine when my supervisors treat me so nicely. They're like a new family that I've grown to love and it's only been about 4 days. Maybe it's wistful infatuation that I have for the Veterinary Clinic, but I'm happy that I met these people because right now they're one of the most important people in my life. Though I'm sure you're reading this thinking 'oh another emotional hormone driven child' and I can't deny that, yes you're probably right, but the emotions that I'm feeling now, I don't want to forget.


I've watched a couple of surgeries during my time in work experience (mainly castrations and spayings of cats, dogs and rabbits) and I'm actually not scared of blood which is a good thing. If I wish to pursue a career in Veterinary Science. I'm just sad that after the week's up, I'm probably never going to see these people ever again, and I know I haven't affected them much, but they've definitely shaped the person I'll be when I grow up. And it doesn't bother me the fact that I haven't imprinted much on them, because I'm probably not going to see them ever again but I don't want to forget. Is that a bad thing?

Being the person I am, I spent a lot of time with a fellow student who happen to go to the same work experience as myself and we were talking about relationships, she herself was struggling with a break up and found my analysis of their relationship (her and her ex) extremely helpful. Anyways, I won't go into detail with that because it's personal. But leading me to my next point, because I can't help but analyse things (no I'm not boasting, I need to state this so you'll understand), I've been thinking and though previously I was sure to ask for any form of employment within the Veterinary Clinic, now I'm not so sure. They have enough people within the Clinic to supervise and attend to all their animals, but I really want to go back (even if it's not for pay). I find time goes so fast when I'm in the clinic, and I've gotten a lot fitter (after mopping/sweeping so much etc.)

Well, I'm going to make the most of tomorrow, and hopefully I never forget this experience I'm given.

08/08

Labels: , , , , - Saturday, August 8, 2009

Hmm well my birthday wasn't that long ago. It wasn't very good, but compared to others I bet it was really good. All I did all day was study, though I did go out at night for a meal with the family (plus one-- though I didn't invite this person he was my father's friend). The restaurant really wasn't worth my time which could've been well spent studying. The food was horrid and dry and when I looked under the table I realised we were eating on a mahjong table with a circular piece of wood on it. No wonder the room was so small, had no windows and everything smelt like cigarette smoke. Oh well, it was nice to spend it with my family (though my parents didn't talk to me throughout the whole dinner they were talking to their friend). But it was a good experience, now I know next year, I don't want to celebrate. Just a nice cake and a dinner at home is good enough for me. The cake was also horrible too, though I liked it because it was a mud cake. My sister and my parents said it wasn't fresh or something along those lines.


Anyways, today I spent most of my day studying (ie. doing tutoring homework). I realised I spend a large part of my life mulling over this horrible stuff, though I hope it helps me in the long run. It's fun if I know how to do it, but terrible when I don't, because I get scared to ask my sister (she gets angry I think). Every week I can't do a portion of my homework and it always bothers me. Sometimes when I have a lot of tutoring homework it takes me about 10 hours (no joke I counted like a prison inmate), but most of the time it's about 7 hours. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you span it out over about 2 - 3 days, it's alright.

I've also realised, life isn't really worth living until you grow old. Well I came to this conclusion a couple of years ago, but I've revisited it today while endeavoring upon the beast that is my maths homework. When we're children we go to school, when we're teens we go to high school (and hopefully complete HSC-- or whatever other countries call it), when we're adults we work for money and income and hopefully develop a family, as we grow older we take care of our children and keep working. Finally, when we're old we finally get the time to do nothing, or do whatever we want. But by then we're already rotting and decomposing, which really sucks. Well, I think I'm going to make the most of my life and make lots of money so I can buy material things and hopefully raise a nice small family and also help others (though I doubt it knowing myself-- I don't like to kid and lie to myself).

Hmm... which leads me to the idea of when people say: "I care for the rest of the world!" Most people kid themselves, and really don't. I try my best not to do that, which is why whenever my friends ask me "Will you save me if i was going to fall off a cliff?" I always answer "No". Yes it may be extremely blunt and mean, but I don't want them to expect me to help them if that scenario was to come true. It's what I always try and live my life by (notice I say 'try' because I don't like to kid myself that I always do it). Wow I've been saying 'kid' a lot lately.

Ahh well... my rant is finished... and that little bit at the end was weird. But whatever, I try to never delete things that come out (unless they're typos). If it comes out, then I post it. So it's always near truth-- unless I keep it inside of course.

24/7

Labels: - Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hahaha, this blog will begin with an apology for the last blog because I think I was blinded by rage thus the crazy sounding blog. You know what they say, pressure and stress brings out the best of us. Or something like that.


Anyways, I'm going back to school soon so I should really just post one last blog before I go. I mean, I don't want to leave on a bad/crazy note so it's just another random rant about something. Which I'm thinking about right at this moment as I type. Though there isn't much inspiration to ride upon right now.

Oh, I've got it. So I've been wondering, why do we (humans) like some colours, yet hate/dislike others? Well as I was mulling this issue over, during lunch I thought to myself. It must be as a result of association with each colour. Using myself as an example, I dislike the colour pink as it fits into the stereotype of a girl though I like darker more cool colours such as grey and blue as they seem to be more neutral to me. Though for some reason that I can't explain my favourite colour is green, hmm maybe some more mulling will do me good. Hmm, it seems this blog is getting nowhere fast, and it isn't much better than my last one. Well at least I don't sound as insane in this blog.

Well actually, I probably do... well time to wrap this little blog up. Very short indeed. Maybe I'll update when something actually interesting happens...

20/7

Labels: , , - Monday, July 20, 2009

Warning: The following may not agree with your own views, thus I must give you prior notice of such content. Please read with an open mind and think of both sides of the argument before making a decision.

Edit: Sorry this whole document is mainly anger filled but I've got a new thing to be angry about now. But that's for next time (or not)

Recently, I've been having arguments with various people about the topic of if humans are indeed corrupted. Now, I've been reading through various articles and one struck me. It stated that humans are either: extremely talented actors who try their best to bluff themselves as well as others to the idea that they are law abiding caring beings, or undoubtedly evil underneath all their beliefs. Well probably from the way I'm putting things you may (or may not) have realised that I actually believe that humans are evil and are just shrouding themselves to the truth. Though I don't want to come out as one of those crazy people who would do almost anything to prove this. It's just that recently I've found that acceptance may be hard, but it clears the head in some cases. I know most people would shrink away from being called 'weak' or 'conforming' but I embrace such terms. (Wow I'm sounding freaky even to myself) Anyways, I think those who label themselves as being 'non-conformist' and who actually care about the world are really bluffing themselves, as probably 9 out of the 10 people don't really believe it deep inside.

I know I didn't when I used to be pro-everything-good-in-the-world, though now I think being in these teenage years, I've lost hope for humanity and its attempt to be 'saintly'. Of course, I respect people and their own perspectives (which is why I'm not one of those people who would attack you for having a different opinion) as I think, this is what makes our world go round. I mean, when I think about it... how boring would the world be without all the problems we have? It would be like a bleached version of The Stepford Wives. Though those who are suffering may be unthankful to my opinion, I understand where they too are coming from. I mean who wants to be in such a position of starvation/racism/religious persecution etc. Though I'm just saying, without our problems our world would be extremely boring, and we'd just manipulate one another into corruption once again. Which links back to the idea that humans are indeed weak. Then again when I think about it, every living thing would probably have such a weakness too. So really it's not a weakness anymore. Though humans seem to exploit this weakness more, for example: training animals, creating laws etc. It's all about boxing and conforming us, but it keeps the world running.

Hmm... I think if I read this again another day, I would think I'm crazy. Well... it's more for venting my thoughts. Sometimes I hope for a better world, only because I know if I don't I'll probably curse myself into such a life (fate is fickle). So it proves at least I'm weak and I'm able to accept it and not joke to myself. A pet peeve of mine would be people's inability to accept it.

12/7

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , - Saturday, July 11, 2009

SNSD's new 'Marine' concept...


VS. SNSD's innocent 'Girl-Next-Door' look.


Wow, it's been a really long time since I blogged something. I think I almost forgot my password. Though I'm thinking of posting again during these remaining 2 weeks of holidays.

I mean, all my passwords are alike in some way (to try to make it easier to remember) though I think it just makes it harder. With all of the alike, I end up mixing them up and then forgetting all of them altogether.

So anyways, I'm beginning my last term of year 10 and I've chosen my year 11 subjects. Which is always a blast, though everyone has been commenting on how boring and hard my subjects seem to be. So here's a list of it:
- 3U Mathematics
- 3U English
- 2U Economics
- 2U Chemistry
- 2U Physics
- 1U Religion (mandatory)

Since I've chosen these subjects, I've tried to give myself as much of a wide variety of pathways for my future as possible. Excluding arts, since I really don't think that I would really want to pursue something artistic in the future. Though the idea of if I'm smart enough to actively participate in these subjects has been another nagging issue on my mind.

As I've never been the mathematics whiz kid, I think I would struggle in 3U Mathematics and 2U Physics, as being asian my parents have forced the idea of 3U Mathematics upon me. Now according to a booklet I received from my school about Universities in Australia as well as my own preference for a career in the future. I think that my subjects would be the best choice for my future occupation (University wise).

This is my plan of the future (in order of preference):
1. Veterinary Science - though most people say it's a really hard course and takes heaps of dedication. (CSU - Double degree)

2. Psychology - well like the guy (I think his name was Smeets or Sweets or something) in the television show Bones or the show Lie To Me.

3. Anesthesiologist - I would assume they would learn about pain and how it is registered in the mind or something like that... I haven't really read through it but it sounds pretty interesting to learn about.

So that's what has happened so far at school... Oh yeah and I failed a quiz in my tutoring college so my parents are biting my ass to study more. Little do they know I have a ton of school work to do in the holidays too...

I had a friend who recently transferred back to her original school in Korea. She was a hell of a good student, who finished all her work a while before it would be due. And I swear she had a computer for a brain, she could memorise anything, which was awesome. It makes me envy her, though she was also a good friend of mine. It kind of makes me feel sad, because now we're probably not going to talk to each other much anymore. Though it's just another learning curb isn't it?

PS. For a while now I've been obsessed with this Korean girl band called SNSD (Girl's Generation) and recently they released their new album 'Genie'. Though I must say it wasn't as good as their song 'Gee', their new hit 'Sowoneul Malhaebwa' (Genie) is pretty catchy. Even if I'm not Korean, I quite like their songs. Though their new concept kind of mixes up their whole 'innocent girl-next-door' look. But they're so pretty in their marine outfits!!

And I've also started liking a Korean boy band called 2PM, especially their song 'Again and Again'. Apparently there's also a band called 2AM, which I think is funny.

22/4

Labels: , , , , - Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Topic: Electric guitars and Guitar Hero!

After planning to buy my friend's extremely belated birthday present (I would buy anything she wanted within reason). My friend and I went to another friend's apartment within the city, as the weather wasn't at its peak (it was raining like crazy). Upon our arrival, I saw my imminent love. . . a guitar! Well it was actually an electric guitar, but it was better than nothing right? So there I was trying to read the tabs and chords for Your Call by Secondhand Serenade. Now I had the introduction practically done (though I still had to look at my fingers, which I am told is an EXTREMELY bad habit). Though I also tried to learn the beginning of Wonderwall by Oasis, which to me, was also a green light as I also learnt the meaning of strumming upwards and downwards (it was shown by a u/v and a n respectively). 


Though after a while, my guitar playing was gradually drowned out by the continuous music that was blaring from my friend's Guitar Hero, causing me to stop my guitar playing and proceed to join in their hurrah as the dreaded. . . vocals. Now I must inform you, I hate singing and can not be bothered to sing high notes so most of the times I was singing through my throat, which I am also told is a bad thing too. From playing this game, I also learnt that my coordination is greatly lacking as I was unable to play the drums. . . well I just couldn't do the foot movement at the same time as the hand movements. The guitar part of Guitar Hero was quite easy though, quite contrasting to the real guitar which hurt my fingers as a result of the metal strings. 

Anyways, I just wanted to describe my experiences of Guitar Hero and the electric guitar, which I greatly enjoyed. As I plan to endeavor on my peril filled journey to purchase a guitar and to proceed to learn at least one song by heart. 

21/4

Labels: , , , , - Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Topic: L: Change the World.


Well today was another day that I spent at home, though I was a bit disappointed because I was unable to get my work experience sheet signed (I'm going to a vet!) as I forgot to get my parents to sign the form beforehand. Though not to worry, I shall do it within this week because I want to get this done before the holidays end. I'm really excited about the prospect of going to a vet, because I've been told I was never good with people or being sympathetic. So instead I opted for animals, because they're the next best thing for someone like me who would like to pursue a medical career. 

Anyways, besides the point, today I also watched the Death Note spinoff, L: Change the World otherwise known as Death Note III. Though the original cast makes extremely small cameos. The movie made me feel sad, because it documented the very last case L took in before he died via the Death Note. Though throughout the movie, which tells of a deadly virus that has been unleashed to Japan I felt that the way people who were affected by the virus were portrayed as was extremely grotesque, but I guess that's probably what makes a good movie. Watari's death was also sad, because he was such an cute old man and he was such a nice proxy father to L and all the other people who's names represented the alphabet (I think).

20/4

Labels: , , , , , , - Sunday, April 19, 2009

Topic: Yesterday's shopping spree?

Well it wasn't exactly a shopping spree since all I bought was a t-shirt that I could wear while asleep from Peter Alexander. Though I did see this awesome jacket in Billabong though damn me not, my freaking shoulders were too broad to wear it. Right now, I'm damning to hell my bone structure and wondering why the hell I have such a broad pair of shoulders. It was such an awesome jacket too, the perfect one I must say, and they only had it in size 12 and size 10. . . it makes me kind of depressed how fat I am. After going to DFO (where all the shops are conveniently next to one another), I realised how dirt poor I am or maybe how much of a cheapo I am. Well anyways, most of the nice things that I saw were either extremely expensive or in the wrong size (too big too small, just never right!).


Anyways, I also taught myself how to read tabs and chords for the guitar! Though my learning has been halted indefinitely until I get a guitar to actually see if I've learnt it correctly. Right now, I'm just reading over some of Secondhand Serenade's tablatures, because I need to know the various chords before I can read the chords for their songs. So really, I haven't learnt the chords, but I am aware of the various ways of writing them. Which brings me back to the point of my impoverish ways, as I'm extremely tempted to purchase a $51 dollar guitar on the internet with free postage. (Click the title and you shall find it!)

So overall, I'm currently teaching myself the guitar with an imaginary guitar, and I still haven't found the perfect jacket! Or maybe I have found it, but my bone structure doesn't agree.

18/4

Labels: , , , , - Saturday, April 18, 2009

Topic: Wigs and guitars?


To me holidays are about meeting with friends on a total relaxed and unstressed playing field. Like today, I went to my friend's house and we ended up walking to another friend's house which was awesome. Though while at their houses, and after seeing their cool gadgets it got me back into my passion for guitars. Even without being played, I have to say the guitar is one of the most laid back instruments visually. That's probably what makes it so appealing towards me, though after trying to learn on my friend's guitar, I found that I wasn't a very good guitarist. 

I would have to say, it may be as a result of my lack of musical knowledge (heck I can't even read music), though I have learnt a song through hearing it (there is hope!) Anyways, after looking up chords for a guitar, I was also plagued with the concept of either learning the guitar with my right hand or with my left. As I found it easier to play with the opposite hand that most people learn with, I found trying to learn and get my head around the different chords was probably the most difficult part of guitar playing. 

Now onto wigs, I must say wigs are curious little things. I actually like them a lot, though my friends all tell me it's only because it makes you feel like you're somebody else. Wigs are probably the funniest things I have ever had the pleasure to wear, especially the 'out there' ones, that are white or bright pink. Overall, to me they're just a lot of fun and a nice way to express one's self or emotions. 

Hmm... it seems that I have gotten tired of the continuous blogging everyday, maybe I shall skip it once in a while so that every entry is always going to be as fresh as my first couple.

17/4

Labels: , , - Friday, April 17, 2009

Topic: What has the world come to?

Seriously, after talking to a friend who says she's 'neutral' about the topic it got me wondering. Does the world really have as much hope as the movies portray it? It makes me sad, now that I think about it as the world goes lower and lower into the underground world of corruption and deceit. Now I don't know if it's just me being an angsty teen or if this is really happening around me, because nowadays all I see on the news are people being bombed, or killed or raped. Rarely, does the news really have anything that is even remotely happy, though the news wouldn't be as interesting if it did now that I think about it. 


Now the argument that I had with my friend today was that humans are corrupt, pathetic and evil whereas animals were one of the few pure things that are left in the world. See, my argument was that animals only attacked humans out of fear as a result of the abuse that humans show towards animals (like in the PETA videos). And that the world is going through global warming as a result of the industrialisation that humans have developed throughout the years, thus making humans one of the main reasons for the state that the world is currently in. Now, I know that I myself am an omnivore so I'm actually part of this species, though I can't help in what I believe in. 

Though my friend stated, that accepting that humans are weak was just an easier way out. She stated that animals were the weak part of the world, thus making them hunted and consumed by humans. My friend also has the extreme determination that there are good people in the world and that there is hope within the world. Which I admire, though I know I don't have. Now, I know that not everyone is totally corrupt, but I'm sure that everyone has a bit of evil in them (my mom once told me that anything that was once white, will eventually turn black).

Yeah... I'm done with my rambling. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I'm on skype with 3 other people and I'm trying to listen to their conversation while trying to remember my friend's argument on how the world. Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense.

16/4

Labels: , , , , , - Thursday, April 16, 2009

Topic: First day of staying at home.

I stayed at home for the whole day today... and I must say, the day wore on quite quickly. Though last night, I must say I had one of the most terrifying dreams of my life. It was like a slasher film, that was playing in my head, with my family being the victims. Now that I think about it, it was probably as a result of watching The Dark Knight, where 'The Joker' talks about the pros of using a knife to kill his victims. Though, I got so scared I actually had one of those moments when you are genuinely confused on whether or not it was a dream. 


Really, I can't think of anything interesting to write about, so I'm basically going to finish this up. But before I go, I FINALLY FOUND A PLACE FOR WORK EXPERIENCE! At my local vet, where my dog was found, after he escaped from our garden. Though I was so nervous/happy that I accidently told them the wrong date... so I have to go back and correct myself. I hope they don't think I'm not taking work experience seriously.

15/4

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , - Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Topic: Shopping isn't my thing.


Now I remember why I really don't go shopping much, unless it's with people who have similar tastes as me. Today, I went to the city with a couple of mates and we went EVERYWHERE. Chinatown, MarketCity, George St, Pitt St, QVB etc. For me it was a full on window shopping day (everything was too expensive for all of us) I don't think I saw anything below $30 besides food, though when I asked my friends they told me it was barely a puff for them (makes me wonder what makes them puff-- and if your head was in the gutter, get it out!) 

So we went to Max Brenner's chocolate café/shop, and I attempting once again to be healthy did not partake in the wolfing down of the melted chocolate on waffle. Though I must admit, after having a freeloader's lunch at a mate's pho restaurant I wasn't in the mood for sticky chocolate anyways. Though I did feel sorry for the couple sitting beside us, because my friends continued to stare shamelessly at the girl sitting beside me as well as whatever she was eating. If it wasn't so embarrassing, it would've made quite the story (with two girls sitting on my other side staring shamelessly to my table) as I continually called them a pack of hyenas and berating them (being the mean-assed friend I am). Being the uncrazed chocolate child of the table, I also proceeded to attempt to divert their attention, though to no avail. Thus I ended up pulling them from their seats and forcing them out of the shop.

After bumming around in more places, we finally went to Passion Flower and ate some ice-cream. And after eating both Gelato and Passion Flower green tea flavoured ice cream I can officially say, green tea ice cream is one of my favorite ice cream flavours. Though I did think it was quite unreasonable to pay an extra $2 just to sit in the ice cream shop, after all over half of the shop was empty anyways. Though my mates and I ended up sitting in this nice place where we consumed our ice creams and continued our merry way along.

So to sum it up, basically I spent $6 all up today, $4 for my yummy green tea ice cream, and $2 ($1.90) for a train ticket to central. I'm proud of myself.

14/4

Labels: , , , - Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Topic: Best day ever!!

Today was the coolest day ever! In the morning I went to visit my grandmother, because as life goes we lose people. So while I was being fattened up by my grandmother, unbeknownst to me I was going to the movies with my sister once night fell. When I visited my grandmother, I also helped her pull down her vegetables/vines (I don't know what they're called in English) which was heaps of fun because it's not everyday you have a reason to pull and destroy things for a legitimate reason. Though I did realise, and this really pulled at my heart strings, that my grandmother hated snails with a passion. Now I'm no animal lover (I'm an omnivore) but I couldn't bear with the thought that my grandmother was going to kill every snail she stumbled upon in her little patch of garden. Thus, I found myself staring at her line of snails and quickly picking them up and throwing them as far as possible from my grandmother's garden (I really don't know if this even helps). Now I know you're probably thinking, wow this grandmother is an evil b*tch, but really she's not. She just has the idea that snails are there to eat her plants (I don't even know if that's true) so she has her own way of taking care of them. I'm sure we've all had our own presumptions.


Now to the movie! I think I've gained a new respect for Zac Efron. Initially, Efron was usually the playboy/retard who was in all the High School Musicals, though after watching 17 again, I thought he was pretty cool with his character (especially the part where he kisses Scarlet-- that was just plain weird). Though, if he wasn't the 'father' of Maggie, it would've been an awesome relationship. Which brings me onto the actor who portrayed Maggie (Michelle Trachtenberg), she was from Gossip Girl! The Georgina Sparks girl, who tried to tempt Serena back to her old ways (manic GG nerd coming out). Anyways, I think Trachtenberg (lets call her MT shall we?) fits the whole dark angsty badassed teen perfectly with the whole raccoon makeup thing. 

Yeah, so overall today was one of the best days I've had in a while and this week has another good line-up (Thursday), which will include Newtown in all its holiday beauty!

13/4

Labels: , , - Sunday, April 12, 2009


Topic: I love movies!!


Recently after the school holidays began/Easter long weekend, I've found myself watching more and more movies, and thus getting back into the habit of viewing films. I've just finished The Dark Knight and Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (yesterday), and today I finished watching Get Smart. Though both are from different genres, they both incorporate action which would probably be one of my more favorable genres, along with comedy. A good 'chick-flick' is also nice once in a while, though I don't think I would really describe it as my favorite genre, after watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I think I'm out for the count in terms of 'chick-flicks'. I think that Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging was also a good movie, though in some of the scenes I found myself yawning more than once. Overall, I would have to say, in most cases I like watching most genres of movies, but I would much rather watch a happy-go-lucky movie than a horror/gore movie.

As the holidays continue, I have also found myself blogging more and more each day (as you can probably see), though today I really have nothing to talk about. Blogging is probably a good thing to do to unclutter your mind and place your ideas out there for the cyber-world to see. Though I must say, it is quite embarrassing if my friends were to stumble across my blog... as some of the topics that I talk about isn't what they're used to. 

Which brings me the a new topic. 'What do your friends see you as?' Like for example, my friends see me as the tomboy of the group you know, the one who's all tough and doesn't like the girly things in life. Though when I express interest in something even remotely untomboy-ish, everyone gasps. Which sometimes makes me angry, because they then proceed to berate me for my likes and dislikes though I must say, I tolerate it. As I grow older, I see my friends grow apart from me as our interests separate, which makes me long for our similarities once again but other friends stay as close as possible and in many instances begin to copy the things that I do in life. Though this connects us with the 'similarities' that we have, I can't help but get annoyed as they are so alike me in every way, thus preventing me from seeing the real them. I don't want a friend who copies everything I do, but someone who has similar interests as me, but also has the conflicting ideas too. It makes life more interesting with our ups and downs.

Edit: The photo I placed with my blog is of Scouting for Girls, because one of their songs were on Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (She's so Lovely).

12/4

Labels: , , - Saturday, April 11, 2009



Topic: Big Bang and 2NE1's Lollipop Clip?


Well I just watched this video, and I have to say it's pretty addictive. The song and the colourful clothing just screams out: 'in your face!' I mean even though I don't speak one word of Korean, with the repetition of the word 'Lollipop', I've got the general gist of the song in my head. The fashion in the video clip was also extremely interesting and vibrant, with bright pinks, yellows, electric blues and greens. My opinion of this video and the song would have to be 5/5.

(The link on my TITLE of this blog is a link to the video clip 'Lollipop')

With that out of the way, I can finally rant about what I was meaning to comment about before I saw the Big Bang video clip. Now the theme today of friends. Friends help you through tough times right? And it's usually a general rule that you like to spend time with your friends right? Hmm... would it still be counted as friends, if you sever any contact with these said people during the holidays, and if you couldn't imagine you spending one whole day with them without your mind screaming "BORED". 

So anyways, basically what I'm really trying to say and correct me if I'm wrong is that I would rather spend time alone cooped up in my bedroom, than go out with my 'friends'. Right now, I'm really rethinking about the whole idea of sitting with these people at all. Though if I didn't sit with them, I'm pretty sure it would create conflict which is something I don't want. I mean yeah, a fight once in a while is healthy, but honestly gossip and all that kind of stuff bores me and I don't like the fact that most of the people I sit with are not able to control themselves when gossip surfaces. Upon being the station where gossip comes and goes (as a result of my class and my reputation as being a "Nice Mean Person" -- I'll explain this another day) I find myself almost always being grilled for gossip. I mean really, do you people not have enough things to keep you motivated, so you have to revert to talking about hurtful things that concern another? It really bores me the fact that the people I sit with gossip like old ladies, and I'm often the one who takes it in but then forgets it (I just sit there like a rag-doll).

Another thing that bothers me is the lack of intellectual evidence that goes through people's brains once the topic of the opposite gender seeps into the conversation (because unfortunately it always does). As once again, I always find myself in the same conversations and once again I think to myself "how many times can we have this conversation before you remember the details". Every time I see my 'friends' there's always the topic of boys, which rises to the surface and as a result of the desperate/gossip-ish looks that the people around me portray, which in turn causes my respect for them falls that little bit more each time. 

Now I know I'm being REALLY harsh on them, because there are a TON of things that they're good for. All of them have their positive aspects, and some more than others, but if they saw themselves through my eyes (being a casual bystander of course) they would understand why I'm showing this 'concern'. Maybe it's just my selfishness, not concern, after all most people think you're like the people you sit with. 

Edit: Oh and as a last note before I go have dinner, I watched The Dark Knight today. I must say it was quite a good movie, and they weren't lying when they said Heath Ledger played The Joker superbly. Yeah, I really liked this movie, full of action though at times I kind of got sick of watching something blow up. I also thought that Batman's spunky new suit was awesome! Gosh it makes me want to get one of those, but then again when the heck am I going to wear it out? Besides costume parties of course... joking joking. Overall, I would have to give The Dark Knight 9/10.

11/4

Labels: - Friday, April 10, 2009


Topic: -Will Edit this Later-


I know it's only 11:20am, but I'm bored enough to start blogging. Today is Saturday, and I don't think that shops are closed on Saturdays even on the Easter long weekends. Oh before I forget... HUZZARH! I have managed to put a nice little template to replace that horrid one that I had before, though I find it much harder to navigate to different pages now (or to remember how to). Nevertheless, I like this new layout for my blog, it makes everything seem that much more interesting, not that it was interesting before.

I also finished the last of the movies I've jacked off my friends, and I must say the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants is quite a nice story, though I do admit I had a tear in my eye for some of the scenes. It has also inspired me to go to Greece, after seeing Lena go to see her family! The blue skies, peculiar little buildings and wonderful waters are calling, though I've also never been the beachy type. 

Which reminds me, I'm hoping to go to DangerField today so I can go snoop around and check out the new stuff that they're selling. I really want to get another pair of sunglasses and a jacket, because after looking into my wardrobe I have 5 hoodies... 1 of which says something very offensive (I'm mean because you're stupid), that my friends got me as a joke, which makes me fear going out and wearing it. So as you can see, I have no jackets though I DID have a cardigan, but my sister promptly took it. I also have a vest, which I love to death, but it's getting cold so I need something to cover my arms from the chills.

Now I know my mother said that I should wait till we go back to China to buy the new clothing, but seriously I'm not of 'Chinese' build. Which brings me to my teenage angsty body image issue of being too fat, but I shall keep my lips sealed about that one. I mean who wants to read about problems like that right? Anyways, I don't think I can fit into many clothes in China, which makes me sad... though it's life so I should learn to accept it.

I'll edit this post once I come back tonight! Ciao!

Edit: Yes I've come back from Newtown where I went to my second DangerField store (the other one's in Market City), and I found all these nice jackets, hats/beanies and sunglasses but as fate had it they were all extremely expensive. Which brings me to the other store I went to, I can't remember its name but it was this ultra expensive store, which had the prettiest and nicest clothing I have ever laid eyes on, though I didn't see anything in that store that was less than $150. Now if you know me, 5% of my clothing in my wardrobe is over $50 under $80 and the rest of the clothing would range from $30 and under. So now you can see my dilema, with everything in DangerField being $50+ my options were non-existent. 

Anyways, nothing else really interesting happened today. I tried to go to DFO, but everyone had the same idea as me, and we couldn't even get into the shopping centre, and my parents couldn't be bothered to wait on the road so we just bought some KFC for my sister and went home. A waste of petrol I must say...

PS. I thought this photo of a uni-motorcycle thing was pretty cute, though from the front view you can actually see its two wheels next to each other. And sorry for the long assed blog, what can I say... I'm really bored.

10/4

Labels: - Thursday, April 9, 2009


Topic: Movie madness and EASTER HOLIDAYS!


Finally! The holidays are upon us my friends of Sydney, no more homework for 2 WHOLE weeks! Though for those who do tutoring like I do, there's no such thing as a holiday without holiday homework. Though, there is the exception to those who are quitting tutoring... you know who you are. Well, I'm still happy though just to finish a bit of school holiday homework, tutoring holiday homework and a little errand running and I'm free to go. 

Which brings me to my next point of my movie madness! Before the holidays started on the last day of school, I went on a crazy movie jacking high. Where I went to everybody's computer (with permission of course) and took out a USB and jacked any good movies I could find. Though the one hole in my plan was doing this during math. Math... yes I enjoy it sometimes, but being in a class full of smart arses (you know who you are) is kind of daunting. Also, most of the people in my class prefer to do their math work and leave their dear laptops behind. Thus, preventing me from jacking any movies from them. So my movie count right now is 5. A meager amount I must say, as I have already watched two of them (Sydney White and The Nanny Diaries) and I'm just beginning my third one as I type (Bride Wars).

Now one thing I've been beginning to notice more and more throughout the movies that I watch are the clothing that the different characters wear. Well, I've never counted myself to like fashion, but I can't help but ask myself... 'Is this a change in character?' And if so, 'What?!'

Besides the point, I've been finding myself more and more interested in things that I previously had a distaste for, such as dresses (I really can not help it anymore), jackets (I like them a lot now too), scarves, beanies, hats, sunglasses, gloves etc. The list goes on. My personal favorite shop is "DangerField", because it sells pretty clothing, though most of it would be seen as 'emo'. But not to worry, I'm not an emo or anything like that, a bit of black never hurt anyone right? And I don't usually wear the over-the-top black make-up either, let alone makeup at all... For those who know me personally, you guys are probably having sore jaws by now, though all the things that I report on is true. Yes, the almost bare naked truth...

And as I end this blog, I can't help but wonder once again... HOW THE HELL DO YOU CHANGE YOUR TEMPLATE/LAYOUT/SKIN? It's been bugging me since I got this blogging account, maybe I'm just REALLY bad with technology...

PS. The picture is from the DangerField website!

9/4

Labels: -

Topic: When people start staring.


So I was out for dinner today, and we enter this asian restaurant (don't worry, I'm asian too so I kind of know about the thing I'm about to comment on). Right, so my mom, my sister and I choose to sit in a four seater table in the corner. Me being the freaky child I am (my mom told me this) I just take a sweep across the room to look at the people who will be sharing dinner with me. Not literally of course. So I begin my little sweep in this Shanghainese restaurant and next thing I know, I'm locking eyes with this woman who's staring unabashedly at my table at my fellow diners. Now I don't know about you, but when people stare at me in a restaurant, it's usually either I have food on my face or I'm doing something very weird. And because I hadn't begun to order let alone eat, the first was ruled out. Though I was pretty sure I wasn't doing anything embarrassing either, hands on the table -check- and legs folded -check- so why the heck was this woman staring at us?

Now about this woman, I begin to wonder if she's just one of those nosey people who like to degrade other people to make herself feel good. So I accept that and move on, thinking that she has finished with her little sniveling stare (yes I don't like it when people give me 'the look'). Though next thing I know, when I glance back at her table her whole family is staring at us this time. Including their son, who has deliberately turned around to stare. This time, I get a bit angry and begin to hiss under my breath to my sister about this dilemma. So my table ends up staging a glaring war with the other table (such childish fighting now that I think about it). 

It's my sister and I (my mom decided to ignore us) vs. the woman and her friend/mother? (this person I couldn't identify). Though this was the case, the woman was an extremely deftly player, as she was always able to 'dodge' my obvious glares. Hmm, though compared to my family, I've always been told I take the cake for freakiness and general gloominess.

Anyways, I'm not very happy with this blog, it sounds very childish but I needed to regurgitate it somewhere right? And if you know how some asian people are like, you'll understand this story better.

PS. Everyone's a snob at least once in their life right? I know I've been snobbish in my life. Acceptance is the key!

8/4

- Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Topic: Hmm... How do I get an interesting template??


Well it's official (well it was official a long time ago), I'm a 'noob' when it comes to this blogging business... I'm sick of looking at this ugly template on my blogging page, and I always see other people's blogs that have all these awesome templates. And then I look at my page... and all I think to myself is: Wow Renee... you're so lame. Now I know you're probably all thinking, "well we all know that, Ren" but come on, you guys were just too nice to say anything right?

Which brings me to my next point, now that I think about it why do I even put rhetorical questions in my blogs? No-one reads them. Oops there we go again, another question. I fail at blogging, and getting my blog out there. Hmm... I would ask 'how can I get my blog out to the world?' but that's a question and I'm currently on a rhetorical question abstinence.

Though on a new note, I once again remember the vile documenting that I must do because I'm a drama student. I mean I really like the making the story and performing (to an extent), but this logging business... ugh. But I understand it's extremely important to understand and to record the progress, but it doesn't mean I can't say it's boring as hell. Now when I say boring, I mean I fully bs like crazy when I write these logs, because it's usually at the very very end of the term when I write the whole term's weekly log entry. Which is very bad, since I've probably gotten all the dates wrong and my log probably isn't in sync with the people in my group. Oh well... life is hard.

Oh right, and for my daily/weekly/monthly picture it's of We The Kings because frankly the guy in the middle/left has the weirdest hair. And yes, this photo was once in colour but I'm currently obsessed with grayscale, so I changed it. And yes, I fail at computers so I grayscaled on Word... and took a screen shot of it. I know what you're all thinking now. "Stop reading this girl's blog... she'll never survive in this technologically advanced world..."

7/4

Labels: - Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Topic: That feeling you get...


You know that feeling you get? When you know you've done REALLY badly in a test? Yeah, that's the feeling I have right now. The feeling that when you get that booklet back, with that mark on it, it's going to have to be hidden away. The knowledge that you've just earned yourself another F in your report. Yeah... I'm feeling that right now. 

I guess I deserve it though, I mean I didn't study at ALL for the test. Well unless you count tutoring other people studying. It's more like reinforcing my knowledge of the basics. Which leads me to my next point, I think I wouldn't make a bad teacher... if you know me stop snickering! Seriously, surprisingly when it comes to teaching other people things I'm actually pretty patient. Maybe it's because I'm tutoring my friends... I'm not sure but I have this little happy feeling that I get when my 'student' finally learns how to do it.

It's fun in my opinion. But I don't think I would ever be able to tutor people who are under year 10... It's just too... hard. In a way. To control them. With the maturity thing... Not that I'm saying I'm mature at all, but I need someone who's either my age (so they can relate to what I'm on about) or someone who's older who can be the mature one in the conversation. 

Which leads me to my next point, lately I've been going on crazy rampages. I'm pretty sure I said this in yesterday's blog but let me reinforce it. I've been going crazy in class, and it's getting hard to control myself now. So breathe in... and out... in... and out...

Oh and before I forget, in history today I found out the wonders of the 60's rock and roll! It's great! I'm going to download a ton of 60's rock and roll songs now, I've been inspired! Haha!  An example of this would be "Sounds of Silence" - Paul Simon and Art Garfunkle, I'm in love with it because it just brings back non-existent memories. Well my vision of how the 60's used to be like, though I know that the 60's wasn't all about drugs, sex and rock'n'roll. 

Anyways just an ending note for this ultra long blog... "If you remember the sixties, you weren't really there..." At first I didn't understand it much, but after a bit of explanation (it's like talking to a wall) I finally realised what it meant...

6/4

Labels: - Sunday, April 5, 2009

Topic: Birds are overprotective...

Hmm, well I know I should really be studying, but I really need to get my hyperness out of me. I have no idea why, but I'm dead tired but I'm also very fidgety and restless, which is peeving the heck out of me. Hahaha, yes I have begun the phase of using the word 'peeving', a bit slow on the bandwagon, but then again I always have. Now lately, I've found myself to be extremely restless or full of energy, especially at school. I no real idea why, but it's been pretty funny now that I think about it. Also a bit freaky for my friends too...

So this week's resolution, be more calm and serene in a way. Hmm, don't know how long that'll be (from past experiences with my self-control in some aspects it won't be long). Really, today I have nothing much to blog on, except this one moment in the morning.

It's actually pretty funny now that I replay it in my head...

Well basically I was walking behind this girl in a year below me (I'm not very social with people of other years... or my own in fact), anyways I was walking a couple of meters behind her and next thing I know there's this grey streak which hits her head. Being the mean assed person I am I find myself grinning, but not to the point where I laugh. Moving on, so this girl has a bird which looks like it might go for round two flying around her head and hitting it, while I'm behind her just staring and walking.

But do not fear! I'm not as heartless as I have portrayed myself to be, I've actually had a bird try to attack me because it thought I was a danger to its young. But it felt a lot less painful than it looked today when I was the spectator. When the bird (I'm pretty sure the same bird that attacked this girl) hit MY head, it felt like someone had thrown a pillow over my head which had scraped the top of my head. Now you all are probably thinking... eww this girl likes birds caressing her head, but seriously I'm not weird at all...

5/4

Labels: - Saturday, April 4, 2009

Hmm... well I've decided to document my life on a blogging website. Yes, I am well aware that I attempted this on deviant, but I feel that it should be nicer experience if I were to save it on an actual blogging website.


Topic: Twitter...? Facebook...? Myspace...? Bebo...?

Now I'll admit, I've been on these internet community websites before, and I've had a fair few accounts myself. But really, it's just a really bad idea for someone like me. Because, as many of my friends would know (or not), I become obsessive if I find something that sparks my attention. Which is why, I have prided myself these 14 years (or so) in having the self-control to delete these accounts once I become too... "attached" to them.

But now this new one that I myself haven't attempted yet is... twitter? Now is it just me, or do people also think of people twittering like crazy into a phone when they think of twitter? I mean... it's supposed to document what you're doing as the day wears on right? And birds twitter right? So...

Anyways, to me this new twitter thing sounds like a crap idea that someone thought up because they needed some money making scheme or something. I mean really! Would I really want to know if you were... "going to buy milk" or "going to the toilet". 

Is it just me? Oh well, as high school goes there will be pressure to make a 'twitter' account. But I refuse to budge, because I really to think that this twitter business is very... awkward and boring. But we're all allowed to have our own opinions right?

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