I've been on work experience for the past week, and I only have one day left. Darn why is work experience only 1 week? It makes me so much more sadder because I'm going to miss it so much. Back to reality I guess, harsh, cold and unforgiving. My friend says I'm suffering from withdrawal-like symptoms regarding my nostalgia towards the prospect of leaving work experience, and frankly I agree wholeheartedly. After going to my local vet for my work experience, I can confidently say, this is probably one of the happiest times of my life. I don't even mind picking up the cat and dog poo/pee, or washing up because it's fine when my supervisors treat me so nicely. They're like a new family that I've grown to love and it's only been about 4 days. Maybe it's wistful infatuation that I have for the Veterinary Clinic, but I'm happy that I met these people because right now they're one of the most important people in my life. Though I'm sure you're reading this thinking 'oh another emotional hormone driven child' and I can't deny that, yes you're probably right, but the emotions that I'm feeling now, I don't want to forget.
20/8
I've watched a couple of surgeries during my time in work experience (mainly castrations and spayings of cats, dogs and rabbits) and I'm actually not scared of blood which is a good thing. If I wish to pursue a career in Veterinary Science. I'm just sad that after the week's up, I'm probably never going to see these people ever again, and I know I haven't affected them much, but they've definitely shaped the person I'll be when I grow up. And it doesn't bother me the fact that I haven't imprinted much on them, because I'm probably not going to see them ever again but I don't want to forget. Is that a bad thing?
Being the person I am, I spent a lot of time with a fellow student who happen to go to the same work experience as myself and we were talking about relationships, she herself was struggling with a break up and found my analysis of their relationship (her and her ex) extremely helpful. Anyways, I won't go into detail with that because it's personal. But leading me to my next point, because I can't help but analyse things (no I'm not boasting, I need to state this so you'll understand), I've been thinking and though previously I was sure to ask for any form of employment within the Veterinary Clinic, now I'm not so sure. They have enough people within the Clinic to supervise and attend to all their animals, but I really want to go back (even if it's not for pay). I find time goes so fast when I'm in the clinic, and I've gotten a lot fitter (after mopping/sweeping so much etc.)
Well, I'm going to make the most of tomorrow, and hopefully I never forget this experience I'm given.
08/08
Hmm well my birthday wasn't that long ago. It wasn't very good, but compared to others I bet it was really good. All I did all day was study, though I did go out at night for a meal with the family (plus one-- though I didn't invite this person he was my father's friend). The restaurant really wasn't worth my time which could've been well spent studying. The food was horrid and dry and when I looked under the table I realised we were eating on a mahjong table with a circular piece of wood on it. No wonder the room was so small, had no windows and everything smelt like cigarette smoke. Oh well, it was nice to spend it with my family (though my parents didn't talk to me throughout the whole dinner they were talking to their friend). But it was a good experience, now I know next year, I don't want to celebrate. Just a nice cake and a dinner at home is good enough for me. The cake was also horrible too, though I liked it because it was a mud cake. My sister and my parents said it wasn't fresh or something along those lines.
Anyways, today I spent most of my day studying (ie. doing tutoring homework). I realised I spend a large part of my life mulling over this horrible stuff, though I hope it helps me in the long run. It's fun if I know how to do it, but terrible when I don't, because I get scared to ask my sister (she gets angry I think). Every week I can't do a portion of my homework and it always bothers me. Sometimes when I have a lot of tutoring homework it takes me about 10 hours (no joke I counted like a prison inmate), but most of the time it's about 7 hours. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you span it out over about 2 - 3 days, it's alright.
I've also realised, life isn't really worth living until you grow old. Well I came to this conclusion a couple of years ago, but I've revisited it today while endeavoring upon the beast that is my maths homework. When we're children we go to school, when we're teens we go to high school (and hopefully complete HSC-- or whatever other countries call it), when we're adults we work for money and income and hopefully develop a family, as we grow older we take care of our children and keep working. Finally, when we're old we finally get the time to do nothing, or do whatever we want. But by then we're already rotting and decomposing, which really sucks. Well, I think I'm going to make the most of my life and make lots of money so I can buy material things and hopefully raise a nice small family and also help others (though I doubt it knowing myself-- I don't like to kid and lie to myself).
Hmm... which leads me to the idea of when people say: "I care for the rest of the world!" Most people kid themselves, and really don't. I try my best not to do that, which is why whenever my friends ask me "Will you save me if i was going to fall off a cliff?" I always answer "No". Yes it may be extremely blunt and mean, but I don't want them to expect me to help them if that scenario was to come true. It's what I always try and live my life by (notice I say 'try' because I don't like to kid myself that I always do it). Wow I've been saying 'kid' a lot lately.
Ahh well... my rant is finished... and that little bit at the end was weird. But whatever, I try to never delete things that come out (unless they're typos). If it comes out, then I post it. So it's always near truth-- unless I keep it inside of course.
24/7
Hahaha, this blog will begin with an apology for the last blog because I think I was blinded by rage thus the crazy sounding blog. You know what they say, pressure and stress brings out the best of us. Or something like that.
Anyways, I'm going back to school soon so I should really just post one last blog before I go. I mean, I don't want to leave on a bad/crazy note so it's just another random rant about something. Which I'm thinking about right at this moment as I type. Though there isn't much inspiration to ride upon right now.
Oh, I've got it. So I've been wondering, why do we (humans) like some colours, yet hate/dislike others? Well as I was mulling this issue over, during lunch I thought to myself. It must be as a result of association with each colour. Using myself as an example, I dislike the colour pink as it fits into the stereotype of a girl though I like darker more cool colours such as grey and blue as they seem to be more neutral to me. Though for some reason that I can't explain my favourite colour is green, hmm maybe some more mulling will do me good. Hmm, it seems this blog is getting nowhere fast, and it isn't much better than my last one. Well at least I don't sound as insane in this blog.
Well actually, I probably do... well time to wrap this little blog up. Very short indeed. Maybe I'll update when something actually interesting happens...
20/7
Warning: The following may not agree with your own views, thus I must give you prior notice of such content. Please read with an open mind and think of both sides of the argument before making a decision.
Edit: Sorry this whole document is mainly anger filled but I've got a new thing to be angry about now. But that's for next time (or not)
I know I didn't when I used to be pro-everything-good-in-the-world, though now I think being in these teenage years, I've lost hope for humanity and its attempt to be 'saintly'. Of course, I respect people and their own perspectives (which is why I'm not one of those people who would attack you for having a different opinion) as I think, this is what makes our world go round. I mean, when I think about it... how boring would the world be without all the problems we have? It would be like a bleached version of The Stepford Wives. Though those who are suffering may be unthankful to my opinion, I understand where they too are coming from. I mean who wants to be in such a position of starvation/racism/religious persecution etc. Though I'm just saying, without our problems our world would be extremely boring, and we'd just manipulate one another into corruption once again. Which links back to the idea that humans are indeed weak. Then again when I think about it, every living thing would probably have such a weakness too. So really it's not a weakness anymore. Though humans seem to exploit this weakness more, for example: training animals, creating laws etc. It's all about boxing and conforming us, but it keeps the world running.
Hmm... I think if I read this again another day, I would think I'm crazy. Well... it's more for venting my thoughts. Sometimes I hope for a better world, only because I know if I don't I'll probably curse myself into such a life (fate is fickle). So it proves at least I'm weak and I'm able to accept it and not joke to myself. A pet peeve of mine would be people's inability to accept it.
12/7
SNSD's new 'Marine' concept...
VS. SNSD's innocent 'Girl-Next-Door' look.
Wow, it's been a really long time since I blogged something. I think I almost forgot my password. Though I'm thinking of posting again during these remaining 2 weeks of holidays.
Wow, it's been a really long time since I blogged something. I think I almost forgot my password. Though I'm thinking of posting again during these remaining 2 weeks of holidays.
I mean, all my passwords are alike in some way (to try to make it easier to remember) though I think it just makes it harder. With all of the alike, I end up mixing them up and then forgetting all of them altogether.
So anyways, I'm beginning my last term of year 10 and I've chosen my year 11 subjects. Which is always a blast, though everyone has been commenting on how boring and hard my subjects seem to be. So here's a list of it:
- 3U Mathematics
- 3U English
- 2U Economics
- 2U Chemistry
- 2U Physics
- 1U Religion (mandatory)
Since I've chosen these subjects, I've tried to give myself as much of a wide variety of pathways for my future as possible. Excluding arts, since I really don't think that I would really want to pursue something artistic in the future. Though the idea of if I'm smart enough to actively participate in these subjects has been another nagging issue on my mind.
As I've never been the mathematics whiz kid, I think I would struggle in 3U Mathematics and 2U Physics, as being asian my parents have forced the idea of 3U Mathematics upon me. Now according to a booklet I received from my school about Universities in Australia as well as my own preference for a career in the future. I think that my subjects would be the best choice for my future occupation (University wise).
This is my plan of the future (in order of preference):
1. Veterinary Science - though most people say it's a really hard course and takes heaps of dedication. (CSU - Double degree)
2. Psychology - well like the guy (I think his name was Smeets or Sweets or something) in the television show Bones or the show Lie To Me.
3. Anesthesiologist - I would assume they would learn about pain and how it is registered in the mind or something like that... I haven't really read through it but it sounds pretty interesting to learn about.
So that's what has happened so far at school... Oh yeah and I failed a quiz in my tutoring college so my parents are biting my ass to study more. Little do they know I have a ton of school work to do in the holidays too...
I had a friend who recently transferred back to her original school in Korea. She was a hell of a good student, who finished all her work a while before it would be due. And I swear she had a computer for a brain, she could memorise anything, which was awesome. It makes me envy her, though she was also a good friend of mine. It kind of makes me feel sad, because now we're probably not going to talk to each other much anymore. Though it's just another learning curb isn't it?
PS. For a while now I've been obsessed with this Korean girl band called SNSD (Girl's Generation) and recently they released their new album 'Genie'. Though I must say it wasn't as good as their song 'Gee', their new hit 'Sowoneul Malhaebwa' (Genie) is pretty catchy. Even if I'm not Korean, I quite like their songs. Though their new concept kind of mixes up their whole 'innocent girl-next-door' look. But they're so pretty in their marine outfits!!
And I've also started liking a Korean boy band called 2PM, especially their song 'Again and Again'. Apparently there's also a band called 2AM, which I think is funny.
22/4
Topic: Electric guitars and Guitar Hero!
After planning to buy my friend's extremely belated birthday present (I would buy anything she wanted within reason). My friend and I went to another friend's apartment within the city, as the weather wasn't at its peak (it was raining like crazy). Upon our arrival, I saw my imminent love. . . a guitar! Well it was actually an electric guitar, but it was better than nothing right? So there I was trying to read the tabs and chords for Your Call by Secondhand Serenade. Now I had the introduction practically done (though I still had to look at my fingers, which I am told is an EXTREMELY bad habit). Though I also tried to learn the beginning of Wonderwall by Oasis, which to me, was also a green light as I also learnt the meaning of strumming upwards and downwards (it was shown by a u/v and a n respectively).
Though after a while, my guitar playing was gradually drowned out by the continuous music that was blaring from my friend's Guitar Hero, causing me to stop my guitar playing and proceed to join in their hurrah as the dreaded. . . vocals. Now I must inform you, I hate singing and can not be bothered to sing high notes so most of the times I was singing through my throat, which I am also told is a bad thing too. From playing this game, I also learnt that my coordination is greatly lacking as I was unable to play the drums. . . well I just couldn't do the foot movement at the same time as the hand movements. The guitar part of Guitar Hero was quite easy though, quite contrasting to the real guitar which hurt my fingers as a result of the metal strings.
Anyways, I just wanted to describe my experiences of Guitar Hero and the electric guitar, which I greatly enjoyed. As I plan to endeavor on my peril filled journey to purchase a guitar and to proceed to learn at least one song by heart.
21/4
Topic: L: Change the World.
Well today was another day that I spent at home, though I was a bit disappointed because I was unable to get my work experience sheet signed (I'm going to a vet!) as I forgot to get my parents to sign the form beforehand. Though not to worry, I shall do it within this week because I want to get this done before the holidays end. I'm really excited about the prospect of going to a vet, because I've been told I was never good with people or being sympathetic. So instead I opted for animals, because they're the next best thing for someone like me who would like to pursue a medical career.
Anyways, besides the point, today I also watched the Death Note spinoff, L: Change the World otherwise known as Death Note III. Though the original cast makes extremely small cameos. The movie made me feel sad, because it documented the very last case L took in before he died via the Death Note. Though throughout the movie, which tells of a deadly virus that has been unleashed to Japan I felt that the way people who were affected by the virus were portrayed as was extremely grotesque, but I guess that's probably what makes a good movie. Watari's death was also sad, because he was such an cute old man and he was such a nice proxy father to L and all the other people who's names represented the alphabet (I think).
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